De Dana Dan - Take 2

Priydarshan + Akshay Kumar + Sunil Shetty + Paresh Rawal. This equation has worked wonders in the past, so it was not so unreasonable of me to expect a little bit of fun from their latest venture. How wrong I was! Wo kahte hai na.. Jane do yar, jo bhi kahte hai.. Presented below are a fraction of the salient features of the crap that is collectively known as 'De Dana Dan'!

The problem of employment: Bollywood produces around 800 movies per year, and one would think that that would be enough to solve the unemployment problem. Apparently that one is wrong! So this movie gives screen space to everybody. But as every character is as devoid of purpose as the next one, you would never feel that one of them deserved more.

Cheapness sells (at least some think so): Thanks to Ms. Sherawat, I thought I knew what sells. The team behind DDD begs to differ. They tend to think that putting lot of cheap dialogs like dikhau mere sanskar is gonna fetch them audience.

Audience are Einsteins: The filmmakers made some generous assumptions regarding the IQ of the average moviegoer. As I mentioned, there are tons of characters, and the complextity goes up with n². It's OK to have the element of confusion, but not to the point where one has to constantly ping 'bajuwale' with ye kaha se aaya?'

Songs: There MUSTMUSTMUST be songs. Doesn't matter if they absolutely suck in every possible way. You HAVE to put them in. At least that's what the movie tends to say.

OK, I can go on like this, but here's a thought that just came to me. I might be a lukkha, but not so lukkha as to waste any more of time writing a review for this totally worthless movie. Jitna likha kafi samzo, n dekhna hi hai to kuch aur dekho!

De dhana dhan - a disaster

You know what this movie reminded me of?
Just recently I heard of a movie, the story of which revolves around a couple who lose their memory and then they are hunted down by people who saw the movie this couple made.
This move, de dhana dhan, made me feel like tracking down the makers and bashing them dhana dhan.

It had no elements of Hera Pheri. The characters were totally new., only the actors were the same. There was no simpleton baburao who made you laugh for no rhyme or reason. There was a story, but a very complicated one. There were so many characters and plots that you actually forgot some characters when they were not part of an ongoing scene.
It just felt as if the director was given a bunch of actors to employ and he had to create a movie with those people.

I didn't even feel like appreciating the acting and comic skills of the actors. The whole movie just made me keep yawning and looking around to see how the audience was reacting. My point was reassured by the blank and bored stares I got back from people.

There were songs too in the movie. And they were all focussed on Katrina and Akshay. It was more about their (hardly developed) love story.It would have been better if it was a love story and not a comic confusion.
Actually the confusion was built into the movie. So much so that even the characters looked confused as to their existence. Maybe the director was directing two movies and thought they were so similar that he brought them together as one sing;e three hour movie.

Take my word, its a torture! Please don't bother!

Jail

It is a Madhur Bhandarkar movie. So you can expect a movie on some face of reality we never have seen. The name suggests its the jail this time.
The movie is a typical MB film, with a corrupt system and how a common man lands in there. His plight there and how he makes his cool with the way things are. His trials to fight the system and his failures. The end result is not always very happy.
This movie is well directed. Neil Nitin Mukesh has done a fantastic job. Throughtout the movie he hardly has any dialogues, but his eyes and his expressions speak wonders. Kudos to him for his performance. Mugdha Godse has a very small role and there is very little acting calibre that she could show off. The major part of the movie focusses on Neil and his life in the jail. Manoj Bajpai as usual has enacted his small role with power.
I liked the the scenes shot inside the jail. They seem authentic and plausible. One really feels sorry for the people in there, and that is where I think the movie gets its rewards. There are so many people in there who are innocent but have not been heard just because our judicial system is too slow, or rather moves only with the fuel called corruption.
I wouldn't say the movie is a must watch, but if you like applauding a brilliant performance, this movie is worth your time at least once.

Dil Bole Hadippa!

Can you believe I saw this movie!
Throughout the movie I kept saying to myself, why do you think I'm watching this movie. Why in the world am I sitting put. And the answer. Just to write a review..that's the only reason I could think of!

Its about a cricket expert Rani (Veera). Just because she is a girl she cannot play in the men's team and cannot compete with the best of the best. So, she plays disguised as a man. Fundamental question is, how is it ever possible for a gal to dress as a guy and not be made out. Anyway, considering bollywood does not stress too much on the right and wrong we move ahead. Now comes an NRI Shahid Kapur(Rohan) who does not really belive in his 'jhappiyon sa desh' and Veera shows him how our country is so beautiful. Rohan then falls head over heels in love with Rani. Now obviously she does not tell him that it is her who is playing in Rohan's team.
Now she plays very well and throughout her love Rohan does not realise that the guy playing is not Veer but Veera. Everything is going good when during the final match Rohan finds out that there is no Veer. Now his heart is broken (I wonder why?) and he tells her that women and visitors are not allowed in the men's chaning room. Okay, I would have said go and win the match yourself. But here is our bharatiya naari who is in tears now. She can see her dream fall apart. Let me ask a question here. How is her dream of being known as a famous cricketer going to be fulfilled if she is going to play guised as a man (which no one can unearth) ? Anyway, so then finally Rohan has no option but to call back his strong player because he is going to lose otherwise. Now put in the melodrama and dialogues such as 'Tumne mera istamaal kiya team mein aane ke liye, ab mein tumhara istamaal karunga jeetne ke liye".
Then the tension of who's going to win, how are they going to pull it through. But then they win, obviously. And then comes a speech which suddenly enlightens people and they accept that she had no other option but to play guised as a man.
The story is ridiculous. But if you hear and watch the songs, you'll agree with me that the story is much better! The direction I will not say was bad but there was no story. Rani's acting skills are wasted. Shahid's charm is wasted too. Sherlyn Chopra was maybe happy with her 'show your skin' even if there is no character etched for you in the film.
All in all a bad bad movie. Please don't bother!

Life Partner

I don't know why I saw this movie. Possibly because it was a Sunday afternoon and I the best I could find on TV was this movie.
There is a divorce lawyer who does not believe in marriages. He runs his business by trying to get couples apart and then grant them divorce by fighting their cases. There are two couples his friends.
One Tusshar Kapoor and Prachi Desai. An arranged-love marriage. Tusshar cannot stand up to his father's baseless rules and regulations and a girl of modern ideas Prachi cannot fight against her father in law single handed. Finally she leaves him and our lawyer 'friend' Govinda gets them a divorce.
Second couple is Fardeen who falls in love with Genelia who is a rich spoilt brat. She cannot even operate a washing machine because she thinks that is the work of a servant. Issues between these two after marriage escalate and again our lawyer 'friend' comes to their rescue and gets them a divorce.
But, the twist in the story is that now Govinda falls in love with Amrita Rao. Now he suddenly begins to believe in love and the institution of marriage. So much so that he devises a plan and gets the other broken couples to realise their mistakes and get back together.
Wow! what an impressive plot right?
Performances are too artificial. You cannot take in for a moment what each character is trying to enact. The only actor who has done what she is paid for i.e. has acted is Prachi.
I'll say, maybe I shouldn't even write a review for a movie like this, but then I'll save you people the torture of sitting through the movie.

Tum Mile

I wanted to see this movie only because of Soha Ali Khan because I think she is a brilliant actor. No she did not disappoint me. And surprise is that neither did Emraan Hashmi do the honors. It was the direction.
The movie is about a creative jobless man (Emraan) and his love, rich girl working in a steady business (Soha). Typical love story. Problems in the relationship. Guy does not share his frustration, thoughts. Makes Soha feel that she's just a muse for this artist Emraan. All this is the usual right? But the director tries to put all this with the backdrop of the mumbai floods.
There is a lot of to and fro between present and past. This works fine, till the climax of the floods. When the floods and the effect it ha don people is the top most on the audience's mind, you can't switch to a fight between a couple just because they have communication issues. The effects as far as the flood goes are good. They even manage to make you feel sorry for the people stuck in there and it makes you applaud the mumbaikars spirit. But alas, if there had been a little less stress on the couple issues during this I guess the movie would not have looked like a total mess.
As far as the performances go, I think both Soha and Emraan have done good. The story was simple but could have been presented better. Give it a shot for Soha. Else, let it pass.

The exorcism of Emily Rose

I think its a gem of a thriller movie. It has its horror moments. And no its not filled with gore or a sick manhunter killing people to satisfy his craving. It has the age old spirit which holds a human in its possession.
Its about a girl named Emily Rose, who suffers the torcher of being possessed and then when given the choice to die peacefully, chooses to suffer and through her suffering prove that demons exist. That makes her a saint according to the movie. Anyway, Im not sure this movie induced me into believeing if demons really exist.
I liked the court room scenes. I liked the clash of science and pseudo scientific beliefs in a scientific and logical manner.
The performances by  Laura Linney(the lawyer), Tom Wilkinson(the priest), Jennifer Carpenter (Emily Rose) are outstanding. The dialogue delivery by the lawyer is very fine. All the dialogues are very well written and executed. You might want to check out some of the nice ones here.
The direction is just perfect. It suits the mood and is capable of creating those tense moments.
The horror moments are wonderfully shot. One of my favorites is the one where Emily is lying on the floor all folded like an insect is. It was just a little short of making me scream (Okay, it is scary but I guess it takes much more to make me scream). All the moments where the spirit takes over Emily, particularly during the exorcism are very clean and don't ask you to close your eyes just to get through it. You can easily look at it, even though it may scare some people. Its very beautifully shot, it does not make you want to puke as in some scenes in Exorcism.
So, if you want to get scared this is the movie to watch.

2012

Had great expectations from this one! Luck favored us with seats at screen 5, which is the biggest at E2 and this movie demands it. The story is as usual, I mean non-existent, but that bothered me in the least (in other words, it did not bother me at all). The special effects are so mind bogglingly awesome that I would've put up with any crap anyway. You might be aware of the theme, the end of Mayan calendar and the end days on 21 December 2012. In the movie, solar neutrinos start to heat up earth's core which also coincides with an alignment of all the planets that happens every 640,000 years. Wah! A scene seemed to suggest that dinos went extinct in the last round, but dinos actually went extinct 65 million years ago, which is 65,000,000. Anyway. Let's not go there. The movie is a must must watch if you care a teeny weeny bit about the eye candy. And just for the record, I would have preferred space ships.

On a different but not unrelated note (and this could be considered a spoiler, so you might want to stop reading), not all of the earth is destroyed. Of course the directors thought not many people would be willing to put up with such a pessimistic outcome, but many good SF stories have gone there and were well received (e.g. Childhood's End by Arthur Clark). I wonder why the movie medium does not explore it? [An inherent bias between reading public and movie going public? I don't know]. Minor earthquakes were felt in Pune the same day, I wonder if they made the movie that much real for any of us. So dude (or dudette), Run! We all have a limited amount of time in this wonderful place (n = 3yrs and 37 days approx if you go by the movie). Make the most of it! [I beleive the former statement applies for all values n takes].

Enjoy!

Aladin

I have many cherished memories of Disney's Aladin, which was one of my most favorite cartoons from the legendary Disney hour. So when someone from Bollywood decided to make a movie about Aladin, I took notice. The promos had thrilled me with their fundoo special effects. So it was with great expectations that I entered E-square yesterday.

Good things first, the special effects are the best Bollywood has yet seen, and can rival what Hollywood has to offer. I am only too glad to see this level of technical mastery in our own movies. Sadly, immediately, we come to the not-so-good part, the most important of which is a lack of focus. The movie tries to be a children's movie with a lot of colors, jokes and so on; and it tries to be a non-children movie devoting a disproportionate amount of time to the love angle. The result entirely pleases neither. Too many unrelated (and inaccurate, as I pointed out to a friend) songs do not help. More action sequences, and cutting out the love angle (or at least keeping it to a minimal, or at least handling it reasonably) would have made the movie much better. I don't know if you'll like it, but I love Aladin's story so much that I just can not not like it. Maybe I should point out that it's impossible for me to write an unbiased review on a topic so close to my heart.

Enjoy!!